Why Trust Is Like Tin Foil
There it is - a brand new piece of tin foil I just pulled out of the box of Reynolds Wrap. It looks pretty good. Smooth but not without it's flaws. Just like trust. None of us are 100% truthful 100% of time. If you're one of those people that believes you are one of those people you're lying. To yourself. Stop that and gaze upon the freshly pulled foil:
What happens when trust is violated? Depending upon the degree, you could wind up with it looking something like this:
Trust was taken and crushed into a ball. Barely decipherable from the smooth(ish) sheet that was just pulled out of the box. To note, if that tin foil was left alone, it would have sat there and been just fine. It would probably just sit there indefinitely. Or at least longer than anyone of us will be alive. Trivia: Aluminum foil takes about 400 years to break down. Because I knew you were wondering - and so was I.
What happens if we want to repair that trust? When we try to un-crumple that messy ball we made? If you've ever tried to do this, you already know the result (at least with the tin foil):
Not so much right? In fact, if you put them side by side you can see the level of damage that's been done:
Pretty bad, huh? Makes the left photo of trust, in it's original form, look even better. Here's the worst part - it's nearly impossible, once it's been crumbled up, to make that tin foil look like it did when it was first pulled out of the box. And the more you try to smooth it out, the more delicate it gets. As you can see, I even ripped part of it just trying to un-ball it. Un-ball. Is that a word? Sounds like something that's happened on GOT. Wait, no, that was something else that was un... ANYway.
The point here is that trust is far less difficult to maintain or even earn than it is to rebuild. But here's the silver lining (see what I did there?)
People WANT to trust you. They want to believe you and believe in you. Know that. Nurture it. And do what you can to maintain it. But there's one more form of trust that I see mess more people up than any other. And that's the trust we have in ourselves.
The more trust we have in ourselves, the more attractive we are. And by "attractive" I don't mean physical looks. I mean our ability to attract whatever it is we want. Trust, yes, can take time to build. But, there comes a point when you don't have any more excuses to simply just trust yourself and go after what you want. What you don't want to be is one of those people who crumbles up their own tin foil on purpose so they can stay comfortable and in the same place. I just showed you how bad that is. Be, instead, the person who does the work then let's go and trusts themselves. You don't really have anything to lose but another try.
Here's one of my more favorite quotes around this topic:
To be persuasive we must be believable; to be believable we must be credible; to be credible we must be truthful. -Edward R. Murrow
I would add to this we need to be truthful to others and trusting in ourselves. Do you believe that trust works this way? Or do you think my tin foil analogy is highfalutin malarkey? I'd love to hear your thoughts either way.