How To Stop Playing It Cool & Start Enjoying Life
Nothing at all worthwhile is ever casual. But more and more we want to play it cool. We want to hide our passion and enthusiasm because we're afraid. If you're in the dating scene you probably know all too well what I'm talking about. But that's all it ever is: fear.
Why Are We So Afraid?
Because anytime we pick up that device and scroll through social media, underneath much of it is one, single narrative. A movie if you will. And the title of this movie is:
Why you're not enough.
Why you're not enough if you don't make this much money.
Why you're not enough if you don't work from home.
Why you're not enough if you aren't this dress size.
Why you're not enough if you don't have kids.
Why you're not enough if you DO have kids.
Why you're not enough because you're old.
Why you're not enough because you're young.
Why you're not enough if you don't have thousands or millions of followers.
Why you're not enough if you don't get 'this' many likes.
Why you're not enough because you didn't get into this program or college.
And and on and on....
The Problem With Social Media & Media In General
Social media and traditional media often drives us into our own heads through fear and manipulation. This is no bueno. In our heads are where all those 'what if' thoughts live. It's where we retreat to when we're out of the moment. When we stop living in the present and start living in some far away place. The ironic fact remains:
The future belongs to those who live intensely in the present.
The Great Thing About Social Media
Is that it brings us together! I have created numerous relationships over the last few years that never would have happened if not for social media. But that, I feel, is the point of social media. To eventually wind up in a room with one and other. That's when the real connection happens and where the present moment lives. For this, social media is an amazing gift, so long as we use it to connect with the agreement that we're eventually going to wind up in each other's presence, in the present.
What's Underneath That Fear?
The fear we won't be loved and/or the fear we're not enough. I've walked across fire with Tony Robbins twice now and if there's one thing I've taken away from that experience is that those are our two greatest fears. Fear of expressing ourselves fully with passion and enthusiasm can always be traced back to those to fears. But here's the thing...
There's Nothing More Beautiful Than Human Expression
And nothing more powerful than human connection. And the more we express ourselves fully and freely the deeper and more meaningful connection we can have with those around us. On social media and specially while we're in that room together.
What's The Solution?
Take some time once a week (or daily if you want faster results) to express yourself fully and without apology through some sort of creation. It can be a song, or a photo or a story - it doesn't matter. It just has to be you in free expression. If it's difficult at first, don't sweat it. This is something that may take a few tries. But if you keep showing up to create the rewards are limitless. I love doing it through photos. Particularly instant film photos. You can see the new journey I've started on my Instagram feed. The nature of film photography forces me to slow down and spend some time with my collaborators. It requires that I focus on making photos rather than taking them. Lastly, during the shoot, there's nothing digital in between me and my subject. Instant film is something you can hold and even smell. And, I've found, the more senses you can engage in a human interaction the fuller the expression can be. That's why I feel live anything is always a better experience. Whether live music, theatre, a trip to the museum or even just a coffee date.
Do something today. Even if it's just putting it in the calendar. It's for you. For your growth and happiness. Commit to expressing yourself freely and without apology. If you do this from a place of love and courage - you'll find a happiness (and excitement) that few get to experience.